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It is traditional for a
pharmaceutical or medical device company to take the reps
abroad on a sales conference once a year. This is meant to
be a reward for the previous year's efforts and is thought
by management to be highly motivational. It would be more
motivational if they divided up up the money spent on the
conference equally between the employees and gave them each
a bit fat cheque. Hope springs eternal!
Usually the conference is somewhere
with a hot climate. The planned duration of the conference
is often a deciding factor in where you go. The shorter the
time allowed for the conference, the less time people want
to spend travelling. The Mediterranean is a popular
destination for UK based companies.
Getting everyone to the location is a logistical nightmare. As people have to travel from all over the country to get there, the chances of everyone arriving on time with all their luggage are absolutely zero.
For tax purposes, the conference must have some 'work' content otherwise it could just be seen as a perk, and therefore costly for the company or individual concerned. Often this 'work' will be training related. Usually it is product training (a useful choice) or sales technique training (a totally useless choice).
Negotiation skills role playing is a popular time waster. This is easy for management to set up. Basically they don't have to do anything except role play the person being negotiated with. Easy life!
Families are not normally invited on these company jollies. The official reasons are again mainly due to the tax implications. Unofficially, it probably wouldn't be much fun for them, as you'd not normally want to inflict your work colleagues on your family anyway. Similarly, some people may not want to inflict their family on work colleagues. If the truth be known, some people would find having their family around very restrictive as members of the opposite sex, alcohol and late nights are the thing that Club 18-30 holidays are made of.
Entertainment is always laid on.
Eating out at traditional local restaurant is inevitable. This normally entails a two hour coach trip up a remote mountain side to get to the establishment. (The coach driver has previously estimated the journey would take 15 minutes.) When you get there you are filled with rough red wine and totally inedible food. The local delicacies always consist of raw meat or seafood adulterated by various oils and herbs then served with unrecognisable overcooked vegetables. I'm not a fussy eater, but I tend to live on wine, bread and fruit on company conferences.
You can be sure that a troupe of dancers dressed in traditional costume will appear sometime during the evening and you will be forced up onto the dance floor by a nine year old girl to make a fool of yourself as you moronically try to copy every move she makes. It's pointless to resist.
It's then back to your meal. About half way through the next course, the coach driver will reappear saying he has to be back by midnight, so please could you hurry up and get back on the bus.
The return journey to the hotel will be a delightful experience since you'll have consumed large volumes of alcohol and will be bursting to go to the loo. You just have to sit cross legged whilst the driver chooses the slowest and bumpiest path to take back. On the way the coach windows gradually steam up as the agony of hanging on to a bladder the size of a football causes people to break out into a cold sweat. When the coach finally arrives back at the hotel there is a mad rush to disembark. The front runners leg it to the toilet in the hotel lobby to find relief, whilst those at the back disappear into the surrounding vegetation to do likewise.
On their return to the UK, most reps will be absolutely knackered for the week following the conference. The excesses of alcohol abuse and late nights takes its toll and the amount of productive work undertaken during the days following the conference is unlikely to be measurable.
Still, everyone is highly motivated and looking forward to next year's bash.
N.B. This site looks best when viewed from a distance after drinking six pints of lager.